Rushing to bloom

A lot of self love, and lack of it, is coming up last few weeks.
On some kind of an edge.
Crossroads.
The signs my unconscious have been waiting for arriving – but all happening at once, it seems, almost too quickly to comprehend.
Been wanting to make sense, write, accomplish, but hopes on myself not in tune with the reality seeming to speed by.

Bitter sweetness, great mental emotional challenge, and assuring laughter being felt from within. My compass, gently and briskly nudging me in the direction I seek when I ask or forget to. And that’s the thing, I ask now when before I didn’t even know there was anyone or thing to ask. I have started believing in myself and the inherent intuition. Angels, call it what you will. Maybe not fully trusting yet, but at least I now believe in the full possibility of myself blooming fully and I am growing. Because I am human, because I am spirit, and because I am here – so f*in’ worthy. Day by day, somehow, I will see my flower expanding more in colour and potency.

I have had to remind myself however, that blooming doesn’t happen overnight. Some words;

Ha ej så bråttom att blomma

Are you rushing to bloom?
What a paradox.
Blooming takes soil, watered by rain, collected by oceans, that have traveled only to kiss your feet.
Blooming takes a seed perfectly imperfect, growing but not overnight, meeting both challenges + fruition and slowly developing in fullness

My dear child if you are rushing to bloom
It is because
In your souls soil are memories of having been different flowers many times before
Red blue and yellow,
Forest side and ocean bound,
In mountain cold and desert heat
So be kind
It’s not strange you are deeply longing for something you can’t describe;
It’s in fact the longing for completion
Wholeness of yourself – all reflections, versions of yourself –
Its a mirage –
thinking we think we can define ourselves here and now to one single thing –
Remember this
You already are everything
Everything you are
Is more than you can fathom
So you might as well relax into the expansion of it
In great, badass kindness
Be unafraid of your potential
Let the rest fall away
Let the rest… fade

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