Soul doings

2018 —

It’s a new year. I have continuously let myself in.
I spend time in the woods up the mountain, I spend time swimming, sweating, growing strength.
Some days I spend in bed. Tea and a book.
Wine couch and a friend.
But however a day of mine is spent. It is all for the sole purpose and intention of
fully allowing myself to blossom again and
Growing my strength and revival on all levels
Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.

I wish to let go of all befores and yesterdays. Now and forth there is only my heart and its spiralling potent present magic. If you knew me a year ago, a moon ago, you do not quite know me now. Hello future… Ready to unfold.


twistin turnin joyin

my mind’s tryina focus trying study tryina write this scientific research paper meanwhile heart is flying up and out and sideways revelling in the energy impact you have on me not wishing there was a later can’t be a faker i wanna have you here right now wondering if you know how you attract, wondering if you know how that makes me  act my fourteen yo self again, yet somehow feel more like a woman at the same time
my heart pounds just as her, that girl on the school yard in skirt and knee highs, green shirt and hair ties, never trying hard just dreaming,  freeing, being, wanting for me to be yours and for you to me mine, like a 90s pop song in it’s prime
damn baby you’re fine

Arise, clear eyes, love hurricane kinda life

Feeling everything
Freaking out, fuckin up, rising high,
All smiles
sinking deep in this soul beat
Unafraid of its heat
Stepping up
Next level grooving greatness
Real raw alive awareness
Expanding cannot sit still
Cannot hold back
Cannot hold the transformation
Tame this resurrection
Dancing, sweating through the fire
Storming open wide
Water and fire, flames and tsunamis
Rise and high
Crystallising ice
Clear eyes
Nothing less will suffice

In the release
In the shallows of the day after
The white waves speak
and reteach my youthful heart
my rushing soul
This reverberating rhythm of soul retrieval

This is the time
Are we ready to meet the elements?

5 things Gratitude


  1. Water. How it nourishes and cleanses my system. How it tastes. How it’s the constant within change, proving paradoxes can be whole, full and complete.
    Water reminds me of who I actually am… A messenger of love. Water is life.
  2. Earth, the woods and soil. Standing on the ground, preferably barefoot… But these days, with shoes on, returning home. Or being supported by it as I run and sweat and laugh through the woods. For the security and deep rooted calm of the ground, and for my feet when they are able to feel your connection.
  3. The feeling of myself as I truly am when in control, and self-possessed, and balanced. It is a deeply sensual feeling. It’s such a purely natural feeling it’s hard to define, put into words. It is a feminine-meeting-masculine feeling. It is wild, free, and true. And impossible to box in.
  4. For the multidimensionality of my life. For travel, flow, movement, shapeshifting. For infinite wisdom, knowledge and potential. For cowboyboots, hats, kimonos and dark coloured velvet. For my guide and the Angels. For the elements, with whom I am step by step learning to play and work with in a balanced way.  Slowly.
  5. School. As of recent I’m a university gal. This is a change after years of wandering and travelling. It’s the masculine-academic approach to things, the concentration and focus, as well as staying in one place physically that I’m really struggling with right now. Cognitive Neuroscience + Positive Applied Psychology is hard core stuff. I’m slowly letting the uneasy, uncomfortable awkwardness of Failing only to Fly again sink into my flesh and bones and know what it teaches me. Unapologetic and pure presence, proaction & purpose. Even the times willpower isn’t yet level keeping on the ball anyway. Not feeling it? Do it anyway. I am grateful to my abilities to carry myself this way. I try to be forgiving when I’m not. And that’s how I  learn, that’s how I rise.